One of the surest ways to maintain a state of inner peace, freedom and happiness is by releasing our compulsion to judge, assume and expect that people and situations be 100% the way we think or believe they should.
Judgments, assumptions and expectations are merely subjective, mental positions we have adopted and habituated over time and often form the basis by which we view and interact with the world.
The primary issue with such mental positions is, we often hold the misconception that they are factual and represent the totality of the person, situation or thing; when in fact they are but one perspective in a sea of vast possibilities.
Such stringent mental positions are the real culprits of the difficulties we experience in our relationships with others, ourselves and the world around us.
The truth is, when we engage in these restrictive mental positions, we limit ourselves from growing and going beyond what we think we know and therefore what is possible for us with that person or situation.
And while the unhealed, egoic mind relishes in the anticipated control, certainty and predictability offered by judgments, assumptions and expectations, we all know from personal experience that such unconscious choices often instead, lead to immense disappointment, blaming, condemning, complaining and disagreements.
So how do we stop ourselves from engaging in such limiting & unserving habits? Through healing, awareness and practice.
- Recognize that judgments, assumptions and expectations are not necessarily facts but are simply mental positions we have adopted or accepted and are subject to change. They do not definitively represent the truth about a person or situation.
- Become aware of the judgments, assumptions and expectations your mind recycles, especially the ones that disturb your inner peace and spend time clearing and healing them.
- Practice accepting and allowing people to be who they choose to be, honoring and respecting our differences, beliefs and choices.
- Let go of specific outcomes. Instead be open to new information and other possibilities presenting themselves.
- Remember that each and everyone of us are individualized representations of the Divine and this includes our varying differences and approaches to life.
When we free ourselves from judgments, assumptions & expectations, we move beyond the conditioned mind and open ourselves to witness and experience the Divine through everyone and everything.